Fuck you AJ. I didn't like you when you were a Minnesota Twin, I was glad when you were traded to the Giants, and the fact that you were then traded to the White Sox has only served to seal forever my hatred of you. For years I've tried to put my finger on why it is that I hate you and basically it comes down to this: you pretend to be a great baseball player, but all of it is a facade to cover over the solidly average career you've had. Here's the evidence.
.284 lifetime average, for a catcher, pretty good, but certainly not great
486 career runs
510 career RBI
102 career HRs
.326 career on-base percentage
blah, blah, blah
Those stats might look deceivingly good, so let look at who Baseball Reference compares him to:
- Paul LoDuca
- Bengie Molina
- Michael Barrett (ironic)
- Todd Walker
Those are recognizable names, but no one's nominating for them for MVP or 'player of the year' awards. Trust me, if you've ever heard AJ talk, you would think he was best god-damn baseball player in the world. And apparently, his smugness extends beyond the field, take a look at these:
The guy's allowed to have fun, but he just looks like a douchebag, hanging out with girls who appear to be WAY out of his league (no pun intended). In the third picture, the guy to the right of AJ is clearly annoyed by him.
So all this goes to show that my hatred of AJ is really baseless, I don't have many reasons, but I can tell you unequivocally that he is my least favorite player in baseball. On that sunny summer day in Chicago when Michael Barrett punched AJ in the face, I lived vicariously through Barrett. Him punching AJ in the face was me punching AJ in the face and it was damn enjoyable. Here's another picture for posterity.