Thursday, July 30, 2009

Ugliest MLB Players Part 2: Aaron Harang is UGLY!

Welcome to a new series where, for a week straight, we are going to give you the bio's of the ugliest players in Major League baseball. Usually, major league baseball players are good lookin' guys, athletic, Adonis-type figures. But sometimes you guy a guy who is just downright gnarly, this series is all about those guys.

Today's segment centers around one ugly-ass mofo named Aaron Harang, starting pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds. Aaron Harang looks like a degenerate. Or at very least, he looks like he spends all his days indoors, in a basement, playing World of Warcraft in a reclining leather chair, going outside only when he needs more Pepsi and cheese doodles. Either that or a degenerate, someone who has been disfigured by the sheer force of their own wicked actions. Either way, Aaron Harang is one ugly dude, good enough for a spot on our All-Ugly Team. I hope he and Jack Wilson never get elected to the All-Star Team for the same year and get drunk in the hotel jacuzzi together and have a love child. The world cannot fit all of this ugly.

Aaron Harang also happens to be a half-decent pitcher. Check out these career numbers:

1311.2 IP
4.27 ERA
1.33 WHIP
.277 BAA
1096 K
7.53 K/9
360 BB
3.05 K/BB ratio
Doesn't change the fact that he's ugly. I've nicknamed him the Harangutan (or at least I've never heard anyone else call him this). See the similarity?


  1. He looks like a caricature of a person, like what you would imagine Zelda looks like in real life. The comparison between Harang and the Orangutan is uncanny.

  2. randyblackladbrad1953May 8, 2013 at 10:40 AM

    Dude's FUGLY,but he's six-seven,275 lb.!!!!!!Would you tell him he's hideous TO HIS FACE?NO WAY,JOSE!!!!!!(Of course,I'm a little old dude,5'9",205 lb.,60 July 6,so you get my point!!!!!)

  3. Yes! He plays in Seattle now, I saw the comparison early season because he turned orange from fake tanning. Hurangutan!!! A 6'7" 280# orange faced monsta....w/a bad back. Not enough treework bruh!