Thursday, July 30, 2009

Ugliest MLB Players Part 2: Aaron Harang is UGLY!



Welcome to a new series where, for a week straight, we are going to give you the bio's of the ugliest players in Major League baseball. Usually, major league baseball players are good lookin' guys, athletic, Adonis-type figures. But sometimes you guy a guy who is just downright gnarly, this series is all about those guys.

Today's segment centers around one ugly-ass mofo named Aaron Harang, starting pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds. Aaron Harang looks like a degenerate. Or at very least, he looks like he spends all his days indoors, in a basement, playing World of Warcraft in a reclining leather chair, going outside only when he needs more Pepsi and cheese doodles. Either that or a degenerate, someone who has been disfigured by the sheer force of their own wicked actions. Either way, Aaron Harang is one ugly dude, good enough for a spot on our All-Ugly Team. I hope he and Jack Wilson never get elected to the All-Star Team for the same year and get drunk in the hotel jacuzzi together and have a love child. The world cannot fit all of this ugly.

Aaron Harang also happens to be a half-decent pitcher. Check out these career numbers:

1311.2 IP
4.27 ERA
1.33 WHIP
.277 BAA
1096 K
7.53 K/9
360 BB
3.05 K/BB ratio
orangutan
Doesn't change the fact that he's ugly. I've nicknamed him the Harangutan (or at least I've never heard anyone else call him this). See the similarity?



4 comments:

  1. He looks like a caricature of a person, like what you would imagine Zelda looks like in real life. The comparison between Harang and the Orangutan is uncanny.

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  2. randyblackladbrad1953May 8, 2013 at 10:40 AM

    Dude's FUGLY,but he's six-seven,275 lb.!!!!!!Would you tell him he's hideous TO HIS FACE?NO WAY,JOSE!!!!!!(Of course,I'm a little old dude,5'9",205 lb.,60 July 6,so you get my point!!!!!)

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  3. Yes! He plays in Seattle now, I saw the comparison early season because he turned orange from fake tanning. Hurangutan!!! A 6'7" 280# orange faced monsta....w/a bad back. Not enough treework bruh!

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